#leapfear Day 24 – Andrea

We are different mothers for the same child.  Sort of.

Andrea’s daughter and my daughter played the same person (at different ages) in a local theatre production.  Andrea’s daughter played baby June in Gypsy while my daughter cartwheeled onto the stage as an older version.  But Andrea and I had never met before.

I have the exact same story as Andrea.  My child had to find 5 photos of me for a school project.  Couldn’t find any.  I cried.  Why do we do this?  I wish I could take my younger self and slap me.

Andrea’s story hits many of us close to home.  Looking at these images, we cannot even begin to understand what she is thinking.  She is gorgeous.  But it happens to so many of us, doesn’t it.  Somehow, we stop seeing ourselves the way the people that love us do.  Andrea has a husband and two daughters that adore her the way that she is now.  I hope after seeing these photos, she understands why.

 

What changed that made you realize you were living a life of fear?

I saw a collage my daughter put together for my birthday. She had used some old photos with both of us yet the most recent ones were only of the kids and my husband. I had been completely avoiding or deleting photos of myself.

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Once you realized that you were living a life in fear, what stopped you from moving forward? What held you back for so long?

The fear that I had become someone I didn’t recognize has been holding me back for a long time. I was no longer trusting my instincts. I could tell my creative side has suffered the most.

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Once you did take the leap, what did you have to let go of?

This is that leap: going through with this photo shoot and agreeing to having my picture published. I have to give up an idea that my youthful self was the best version of me. I have agreed to trust Anita to show me a new version of myself that is more interesting for her scars and her experiences.

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Once you let go, what did you find on the other side that was worth taking the leap?

My hope is that I show my daughters and husband that I trust their faith in me as much as they do. That I look back at these photos hundreds of times and find something positive each time. I want to remind myself that I am willing and excited to ride this ride: my journey of acceptance.

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Is there anything else you would like to share with people on the blog?

I am looking to start dancing for myself again. I have lost touch with my expression. I miss having that class, that studio floor, that stage at my feet and to simply be moved by the music.

My new mantra is to hold fiercely to my passion and enjoy the ride.
I want my girls to know that through their passions they will build their confidence, define their personal limits, and know no boundaries in what they can accomplish.
I am very thankful that Anita is taking me on her journey. Sometimes things come along that you can’t refuse. I am honored.

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